surprise gift

I wanted to write more in my last post. But didn't get any time.

That's how this summer is going. Extremely busy. That's good, right? So, why am I feeling lonely? Sad?

Its okay. Hota hai. I'm determined to believe that even though I'm lonely, I'm not alone. I live in a city of millions and millions of people. And I'll take comfort in the fact that the moment I get up, to the moment I lay in bed, I'm faced with the food trucks loading in my neighbourhood restaurant in the early morning while I go work, the push and pull of crowds on trains, to the twinkling of lights in the skyline. The moon shines bright at night, and the sun comes up everyday. That makes me happy. And it makes me feel a little less alone.

Add on top the premieres of 'Drop Dead Diva' and 'Mad Men' brand new seasons - and what you have is a thoroughly excited person looking forward to enjoying whatever this lonely mid-summer life has to offer.

Here are my solutions to curing loneliness:
1) Sleep well and full (wish I could take my own advice)
2) Blog
3) Wear your glasses
4) Put on makeup (if you feel like it - otherwise screw it, you're beautiful as is)
5) Giggle at stupid stuff. Today, I stopped in a starbucks today to get coffee. The line was long and one guy looked like he wasn't in the line. I asked him if he was, and he just turn around and started asking how I was doing. Good thing he was an old guy and apparently hard of hearing. His friend explained loudly to him that you don't flirt when someone asks you if you are in the line. I started laughing.

See, one random incident can make you smile for the rest of the day. Hang on to the incident.

An aunt talked to me about her philosophy on life around two years ago:

"Hold on to every little happiness. Everything has happiness in it - just look for it - hard. Don't give yourself a choice. Because you don't really have any choice in life. Be selfish and stingy in snatching up happiness wherever, whenever."

Or this is what I heard/remember from that conversation. It had an impact on me. Because I was really unhappy with life at the time. Moving really sucked. Adjusting wasn't catching on. But this was the same aunt that had her 24 year old marriage break out into an ugly divorce; had breast cancer; buried her oldest child, an adult son; financially gave up another child because he couldn't get his act straight; and then later saw her daughter's marriage crumple into an unexplained death.

I often walk around like I carry the world's burden, but I haven't even really faced a shadow of the problems she's faced in the last 10 years - let alone her entire life.

So, shut up hormones. Shut up, my genetic moodiness. Everybody, just shut up. Its the summer. In Chicago. 'Mad Men' is failing at PR. Our best friends just had a baby girl. I've nagged mh into unpacking the house. I still cook awesome bhindi and biryani. mh still likes to surprise me with surprise gifts - even though its crazy hard for him to keep a secret. Its the summer. What you gonna do, you got to hit someone over the head to get them down during a Chicago summer.

happy summering, everybody.